Overscheduled and Overwhelmed

BE NICE TO YOURSELF.

Here I am again. It’s crunch time and I’m frantically trying to meet a deadline.  But I can explain.

It’s been a week.

School is wrapping up, sports seasons are ending, we’re prepping for recitals and plays, and May has, once again, proven to be impossibly busy. My week was packed. Then it all culminated on Saturday and peak chaos ensued.

In less than 24 hours, our rental car was stolen out of our driveway, my 12-yr old fractured her wrist during her soccer game, and the car that was driving in front of us on the highway lost a tire. A whole tire. It just came off and rolled down the highway. 

Since my partner and I were in the car directly behind this now three-wheeled car we stopped. 

Two guys got out and we soon realized that they both were spanish-speaking and understood very little English. I was trying really hard to access the very little bit of Spanish in the back corners of my brain, if there is even any Spanish in there at all, to no avail. 

The passenger told me, through the very handy Google Translate, that he needed to get to work or he would lose his job. So we ended up driving him to his job and then we drove straight home, praying nothing else crazy would happen.

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So why am I telling you this? Well, I set a goal for myself to have a blog post written by today. My adventures from the other day cut into what little writing time I had carved out for myself. I’m currently looking at the clock and feeling slight pangs of panic because I only have four minutes left to meet my deadline. 

I’ve been here before. Waiting until the very last minute and barely finishing whatever I’m supposed to have finished already, while adrenaline and cortisol course through my body. I know, I know. Just start sooner, you say. Why stress yourself out like this?!

Well my friend, this is just what I do. I’ve come to accept it and I think you should too.

Procrastination is a thing for most people but it can be a real challenge when you have ADHD like I do. You put things off and keep kicking the can down the road until you absolutely must work on it NOW. There’s nothing like the panic of a last minute deadline to get you to get it in gear and focus.

I do feel like I should defend myself here, however. I didn’t procrastinate because I was goofing off. I am a very busy woman with a million responsibilities and obligations. Too many in fact. I have a family with (what feels like) a ton of kids, all with their own schedules and obligations. I work and am self-employed with no team which means it’s all up to me. I’m over-scheduled and sometimes overwhelmed. With so much to do it feels almost impossible to get it all done some days. 

And this time I have a really good excuse. I was dealing with stolen cars, broken wrists, translating Spanish to English and doing good deeds by rescuing citizens of this fine city who were stranded on the side of the road. I’m practically Batman! How in the world am I supposed to write a blog post when I’m in charge of so much?!

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The lesson here is that even with the best of intentions, life happens and throws you a curveball or two. Even the most productive of us procrastinate. In the past, my younger self may have gotten down on myself and lamented about not living up to expectations. I’ve learned over the years however that beating myself up does no good at all. So I don’t do that anymore. I’m not going to criticize myself or make myself feel bad. 

Self-compassion is my go-to strategy for times like these. I talk to myself like I would talk to a person I care about. I choose to be encouraging and kind to myself, not harsh and critical. When I’m up against a deadline and the clock is ticking and I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better, I remind myself that being hard on myself doesn’t help a thing. 

Besides, I’ve had a busy week. Even Batman couldn’t have met this deadline. The world keeps turning and life goes on, whether I whip up a fantastic blog post or not.

My hope for you, dear reader, is that you will love yourself through times like these and go easy on yourself. This really is the antidote for the inner critic. The world needs less criticism and more compassion, right? Let it start with you.

Now go out there and do some good deeds with all the love and compassion you can muster.